Friday, September 12, 2003
The Dream
Yes! I know you have all been wandering where I have been. Things have gotten really hectic lately with filming happening every weekend. Alot of people have been asking me why I am wasting my time and money on making a film. People think Im crazy that im following a dream I have always had.
The best way to explain to people I guess is this. I spent years studying drama, acting, performance studies. Since I was 6 Ive always wanted to be an actor. The funny part is that Ive always wanted to be on home and away haha. I guess while growing up I had nothing better to do but watch the show every night. I grew up with the show and was totally addicted to it. Ive always wanted to be on the show to live the life of thoses actors.
I can't remember how old I was but I remember in high school a friend of mine convinced me to get an agent so I can go for auditions. My drama teacher also thought it would be a gr8 idea since I was so passionate about acting. So I got an agent. Few weeks later I was called up for an audition. I was so hyped up and nervous. I went and saw my agent. Little did I know that I was auditioning for a new guy arriving in summer bay. Yes you guess it. The part was for a guy called Jack on Home and Away.
After reading the script a thousand times during classes at school, my drama teacher read over it with me.
The day came to audition. My dad offered to drive me there. I was so nervous I couldnt relax and felt sick. We finally arrived. I couldnt do it. I felt so sick. I couldnt imagine myself standing up in front of people and acting out. My dad and a friend that was with me tried calming me down.
I managed to get up and do the audition. I remember walking out and thinking how bad I was in there.
Since I was a little kid, Ive dreamed about being in the industry. I guess what people dont understand is that having a dream, you can only make it come true by chasing it. There's no point in sitting and dreaming about it. I know I probably wont get where I want to go but at least im trying. Im trying my best to furfill my dream.
In the process I'll probably have to make several sacrifices and contribute quite a bit of money to it but living the moment is so worth it. Deadmans creek is my first real movie that I have organised. It has had its ups and downs and trust me I got to the point of giving up but I just kept reminding my self this is what I want. I guess trying to organise a short feature film with around 10 cast, makeup artist and lack of crew support tends to get on top of you.
The first day of filming I came home really dead tired. I remember jumping into bed and sleeping for 11hrs to recover. Everything that could go wrong did. The pregnant makeup artist, the gothic bitch from hell, the battery problem and finally the rain.
I would like to take this opportunity to thanx everyone that has supported me in making this movie especially Oishi! I guess if anyone understands its probably you. You have been there with me every shoot. The feeling of being onset and coordinating is unbelievable. I will cherish every moment of it. At least if I don't make it then it is theses moments that I will always have with me.
Its a hard industry to break into. However i remember listening to a radio interview with Russell Crowe and he said " You wont be discovered in a supermarket, you have to show yourself". Im spending quite abit of money on this production but im living every moment of it.
The actors are the same. They are all volunteers. None of them get paid. They are doing it for 2 reasons. One because they need to build their CV's and show people what they are capable of and two because they love what they do. The thrill of acting and producing a movie is remarkable.
I guess it was this year that I realised.Im turning 23 in a few months. The last 5yrs of my life has been excellent. However there is something that I have realised. Apart of me has died along the way. I used to be an energtic, goal driven guy.
This is what I used to be like:
I love being happy... I love music and I love to laugh! I love to embarrass myself and others. I like to make fun of people but NOT at their expense-- REALLY, really I don’t-- hehe. I enjoy meeting any one interesting who can talk and appreciate the fun things in life... I get along with someone positive and full of energy... cos the quite ones just annoy me cos it makes me do all the talking... hehe
The main thing I am interested in BESIDES myself (kiddin)-- no really I am-- is anything WOGGY. Being turkish I love anything that has to do with my culture therefore I love wog food, music and of course my bellydancers!... SIK SAK SHOW!!! LOL hahaha. And I am a true wog at heart! hehe
Most of all I love being with my friends... old friends.. New friends and anyone friendly... I love ppl almost to the point where I annoy the crap out of them... I love to hang with my friends and go out like 24/7...
NOW DAYS
Im at a stage now that I seriously cant be bothered. I guess I have met soo many people in the last 5 years that now I cant be bothered meeting new people. I used to love organising bdays, parties just for the hell of it. Now it seems like a huge task. I guess maybe cuz people dont appreciate the efforts I put into it. I just wish I could go back to being that energtic kid who was full of life.
This has been a very long blog so I think I will end it here. I guess the purpose of the blog was to state how much I wanted to chase my dream of making movies. Its probably the only last part of me that hasnt died yet and Im hanging onto it.
and no I wasn't drunk or on any pills writing this blog! Only on my life blood - NUTELLA!!!
The best way to explain to people I guess is this. I spent years studying drama, acting, performance studies. Since I was 6 Ive always wanted to be an actor. The funny part is that Ive always wanted to be on home and away haha. I guess while growing up I had nothing better to do but watch the show every night. I grew up with the show and was totally addicted to it. Ive always wanted to be on the show to live the life of thoses actors.
I can't remember how old I was but I remember in high school a friend of mine convinced me to get an agent so I can go for auditions. My drama teacher also thought it would be a gr8 idea since I was so passionate about acting. So I got an agent. Few weeks later I was called up for an audition. I was so hyped up and nervous. I went and saw my agent. Little did I know that I was auditioning for a new guy arriving in summer bay. Yes you guess it. The part was for a guy called Jack on Home and Away.
After reading the script a thousand times during classes at school, my drama teacher read over it with me.
The day came to audition. My dad offered to drive me there. I was so nervous I couldnt relax and felt sick. We finally arrived. I couldnt do it. I felt so sick. I couldnt imagine myself standing up in front of people and acting out. My dad and a friend that was with me tried calming me down.
I managed to get up and do the audition. I remember walking out and thinking how bad I was in there.
Since I was a little kid, Ive dreamed about being in the industry. I guess what people dont understand is that having a dream, you can only make it come true by chasing it. There's no point in sitting and dreaming about it. I know I probably wont get where I want to go but at least im trying. Im trying my best to furfill my dream.
In the process I'll probably have to make several sacrifices and contribute quite a bit of money to it but living the moment is so worth it. Deadmans creek is my first real movie that I have organised. It has had its ups and downs and trust me I got to the point of giving up but I just kept reminding my self this is what I want. I guess trying to organise a short feature film with around 10 cast, makeup artist and lack of crew support tends to get on top of you.
The first day of filming I came home really dead tired. I remember jumping into bed and sleeping for 11hrs to recover. Everything that could go wrong did. The pregnant makeup artist, the gothic bitch from hell, the battery problem and finally the rain.
I would like to take this opportunity to thanx everyone that has supported me in making this movie especially Oishi! I guess if anyone understands its probably you. You have been there with me every shoot. The feeling of being onset and coordinating is unbelievable. I will cherish every moment of it. At least if I don't make it then it is theses moments that I will always have with me.
Its a hard industry to break into. However i remember listening to a radio interview with Russell Crowe and he said " You wont be discovered in a supermarket, you have to show yourself". Im spending quite abit of money on this production but im living every moment of it.
The actors are the same. They are all volunteers. None of them get paid. They are doing it for 2 reasons. One because they need to build their CV's and show people what they are capable of and two because they love what they do. The thrill of acting and producing a movie is remarkable.
I guess it was this year that I realised.Im turning 23 in a few months. The last 5yrs of my life has been excellent. However there is something that I have realised. Apart of me has died along the way. I used to be an energtic, goal driven guy.
This is what I used to be like:
I love being happy... I love music and I love to laugh! I love to embarrass myself and others. I like to make fun of people but NOT at their expense-- REALLY, really I don’t-- hehe. I enjoy meeting any one interesting who can talk and appreciate the fun things in life... I get along with someone positive and full of energy... cos the quite ones just annoy me cos it makes me do all the talking... hehe
The main thing I am interested in BESIDES myself (kiddin)-- no really I am-- is anything WOGGY. Being turkish I love anything that has to do with my culture therefore I love wog food, music and of course my bellydancers!... SIK SAK SHOW!!! LOL hahaha. And I am a true wog at heart! hehe
Most of all I love being with my friends... old friends.. New friends and anyone friendly... I love ppl almost to the point where I annoy the crap out of them... I love to hang with my friends and go out like 24/7...
NOW DAYS
Im at a stage now that I seriously cant be bothered. I guess I have met soo many people in the last 5 years that now I cant be bothered meeting new people. I used to love organising bdays, parties just for the hell of it. Now it seems like a huge task. I guess maybe cuz people dont appreciate the efforts I put into it. I just wish I could go back to being that energtic kid who was full of life.
This has been a very long blog so I think I will end it here. I guess the purpose of the blog was to state how much I wanted to chase my dream of making movies. Its probably the only last part of me that hasnt died yet and Im hanging onto it.
and no I wasn't drunk or on any pills writing this blog! Only on my life blood - NUTELLA!!!
